i feel i've overstayed my welcome, know the outcome too well
i've played the alchemist's "e. coli" every time i'm not well
tryna find, someone to relate to, or somewhere to escape to
tryna scrap a couple reasons to feel somebody don't hate you
it's like being on veteran mode the prior playthrough
and the first boss is like the final ending that you can't do
i'm hoping someone turns the corner, looks at me like "hey dude,
it's okay to be ashamed or dismayed at what you say too."
i promise, get you back in touch, you see them better days soon
you always being heavy-minded, and that shit make hate bloom
it's like you tryna bring them bad emotions to the gravestone
and now the wave's blown over like mistakes that's from the same boat
i saved a snap three years ago, i was in therapy
and three years later, i still need that type of care for me
it's apparent and aware to me that i tread carefully
through shallow waters, tryna now drown in something narrowly
i lost fifteen pounds and my doctor said that she's proud of me
but do i tell her it's from throwing up?
proclivity of naiveté i'm going through keep showing up, and guess what
i found it don't get easier when growing up
my coconut's been soaked in blood, so what's up?
i'm supposed to sit here in the mud just hoping that i hit the mark?
this tape is just a cry for help for all the cards that i was dealt
and all the hands i held had slipped, already now, i've hit the ground

i'm in denial and i'm sinking now
currents tryna mow me down
but i gotta take the scenic route
and bleed it out

denial and i'm sinking now
currents tryna mow me down
but i gotta leave my house
and i can't get out

outta sight, outta mind, i never look into that water
broken nails into these coffins, scratching out my problems
i'm running until i'm coughing blood, i keep running that the faucet
to hide the unforgotten that been haunting up my conscience
i never talk about these things, they saying it's denial
haven't used, it been a while, drugs inducing fluent style
running in a marathon, and tripping on the final mile
ceiling filled with broken tiles, cabinets only dust piles
shit, it's just something i'm getting used to, i lose too
so many instances, so my wins been getting useful
trying to find a loophole out of my mind is a usual
zoning in and out of my convos, trauma trumping in my new view
of life i've been trying to find with no success
looking for the light, now i'm blinded by being direct
inside my mind, and i try and try just to dissect
now i'm broken down and unable to focus on what's next
watch my steps