i said, i've been on the outside, not looking in, and cooked again
i'm trying to combat throughout this crookedness i'm pushed within
so fuck a friend, i'm down on all my luck and still don't act all plucked and ruffled man
i'm stuck until i cluck inside my coffin's grip down in the pit, i'm sick of it
mindstate borderline
i knew my cycle had began again when my room floor had got disorganized and acted like i'm sort of fine
so god bless my friends around me, i can tell that they were mortified
i act obsessive, i can't fathom thoughts dealing with hordes of i
i'm impatient, i can't face it, taking their support with sorts of stride
cordial cries whining wide, and yet they all ring empty
but that's the pessimist in me, even when i'm acting friendly
shit, it's difficult to balance both, eyeballing shit is tricky
so please stick with me while i'm self-destructive
and i don't blame you if you choose to leave, i feel though my whole world right now is prone to crumbling
hard to not come off guilt trippy, or like i'm up to something
hard to feel like i ain't ruined shit, or feel unpolished cause it
hard to call it, collared to the wall, malnourished body sluggish
ruins falling on my noggin, toppling
ozymandias' sandstorm blanketed and ransacked my hospice cottage
my macabre thoughts stockpiled, vile with my conscience
keep them out of pocket often, cautious, seek my imagine spotless
god it's hard, i can't keep stalling
my metabolic rate is slower than a tarpit bubbling, losing weight so much is troubling
through discomfort, lost my moral compass
acted opposite of pompous, confident i'll bounce back enough to stop it often
at least i hope
so now my health delayed in retrograde
and it's gotten to the point where taking drugs is an escape instead of escapades
i've feel i've done too much to where i can't clean up the mess i've made
the estuaries to my brain connect my brain, keep leaking man
sometimes i feel the songs i make are nothing but some quick complaints
i know that's not the case but hard to swallow i'm not spilling angst
i keep it blunt as what i smoke for pain
i momentarily overcame, but i'll be here again
i know it's just apart of game